A Guide for a Pleasant Holiday Season: The Right Perspective

Another year is making its full circle, and we're right on the cusp of taking an extended holiday that's meant to be a time to relax, recharge, and reflect on this past year while enjoying time with loved ones—but that's not always the reality, it's seldom the reality. A NAMI survey conducted in 2014 revealed that 64% of surveyors with mental illness reported that the holidays make their conditions worse. And the COVID-19 Pandemic helped increase the U.S. depression rate nearly threefold, psychotherapists predict that a second pandemic holiday season may significantly impact mental illness.

For many, the holiday season tends to come with anticipatory anxiety caused by various reasons, such as finding the perfect gifts, travel plans, financial burdens, and uncomfortable conversations with conservative uncles. So how do we deal with anxiety during the holiday season? In this article, I will provide you with some strategies that will help you enjoy your holiday experience without letting it hi-jack this time of the year.

Acknowledge your feelings.

We're still not out of the pandemic and this will be the second holiday that you might not get to be with loved ones. You also might have lost someone during the past two years. Know that it's okay to feel sadness and to take time to grieve. You don't have to feign happiness for anyone's benefit. Allow yourself to go through your emotions.

And if you’re looking for some helpful pandemic-related tools and coping skills—like millions of others in this country— I’ve put together a free worksheet from my time as a psychologist during Covid-19. This worksheet is a digest of 10 tips on COPING Through Covid.

Slow down. 

It can be easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of holiday shopping, Q4 work reports, and overconsumption, but it doesn't have to be this way. Schedule some time in your busy day to take a breath. Meditate. Do Yoga. Sit at your desk and... just...

breathe in...

take a brief pause...

and breathe out.

Even if it's starting at 3 minutes, just pause and focus on yourself. Push play on the video below to take a moment right now, if you’d like.

You can find more meditation videos—like the one above—that you can access for free on my YouTube channel.

Lower your expectations.

I say this with love, “lower your expectations.” Big events have a tendency to bring out our inner perfectionists and our inner perfectionists can turn into these little monsters that set unrealistic expectations that—to be honest—we'd likely never hit. Go easy on yourself and keep things simple. Scale back and maybe even try preparing your mind to make room for big surprises. Mentally preparing for surprises is one of the reasons why great event planners look so calm and collected because they mentally prepare for surprises.

Exercise.

Exercising is great for your physical and mental health, it's a natural antidepressant. During your time off, make time to go on walks or move your body in some meaningful way. Personally, I like to go on mindful walks whenever I can, they aren't necessarily just for exercise, oftentimes it's to buy a few things at the grocery or to grab a coffee. Find the thing that you like doing and go out and do it, but safely. 

Anticipate, anticipate, anticipate.

Professional athletes are incredibly skilled, talented, but above all, they're disciplined, and part of that discipline is preparing their state of mind. Before going into a competitive arena, athletes take time to prepare for what may lie ahead, and that's the exact part I want you to take away from this: mind prep for future events. Learn from past experiences and prepare for the emotions you already know you'll experience from certain events, engagements, and interactions with people based on these past experiences.

And don't feel forced to go into toxic situations. You have the power to say “no” or remove yourself.

Just say no.

It's amazing how many times we say yes when we really mean “no.” Let's fix that! Start saying no when you really mean it. Committing to something you're not going to enjoy won't benefit you, and it definitely won't benefit your relationships. Do yourself a favor and say no when you mean it—Future You will appreciate it big time.

Seek professional help if you need it.

Sometimes it seems that no matter how hard we try, we can’t get rid of the emotions that plague the holiday season, and although it may not feel like it now, it's okay. The first step in knowing you need help is having enough self-awareness to identify it, so give yourself a big hug for this one. The second step is finding a psychotherapist.

If you're looking for additional help and considering therapy, I'm happy to offer you a free 30 min consultation. Click below to contact me and book a consultation today.